Posts (page 2)

the land of the overfed and undernourished; the bound and cowardly

Dec 31, 2008
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Here are some quotes I love from a Doctors blog:

"We are an overfed but undernourished nation. We are suffering from some serious nutritional deficiencies that can damage our brains, cloud our thoughts, and leave us depressed and hopeless.

"No wonder so many of us are suffering with broken brains. But you don’t have to. All you have to do to heal your brain is to eat the right foods

"one in ten Americans today uses antidepressants, while more than eight million children are taking stimulants like Ritalin.

Is something wrong with this picture? Is this part of the normal human condition? Are we defectively designed so that we cannot be happy, or concentrate, or remember things without pills? Is depression a Prozac deficiency? Is ADHD a Ritalin deficiency? Is Alzheimer’s an Aricept deficiency?

"Spending just pennies a day on healthcare can reduce our expenditures by $24 billion over five years.

the blog is found at: ultrawellness.com

I am not a doctor-or am i?, with as much information as i hold should i not look at my physical, emotional and spiritual health? i should. while i agree with the basic " you are what you eat" information found at ultrawellness, i think that there is a whole other layer to our american overfed undernourished cycle. it has seeped into our christianity. it has rotted it in many ways.

from christians i commonly hear:

"i know God wants me to be in a happy place"

"i dont love my husband or respect him anymore"

"my goal is to get to the place where i do not work and only play"

"mine.

"i will give to God what i can

"i deserve good/exciting sex

"my budget is too tight to give monies to Gods work

"God would not want me to be uncomfortable

"i need to be needed, God made us that way

"i need a mans love.......................

" commitment is a dead value

Is something wrong with THIS picture? How did we christians start to think that we cannot feel love apart from God? that happiness was a goal, dependent on anything other than our relationship with God? that love and respect are feelings that come and go? that God calls us to do what we find easy and painless?

Do we take His words and place them into our overfed and undernourished systems?

"my burden is light

"I have come that you may have life

" You are loved with and everlasting love

"Have hope, work in delight, be at peace, have joy in trials, ....

Do we push aside such healthy words as:

" in this life you will have trial and tribulation"

"they will persecute you for My sake"

"peace, love and joy are fruits of The Spirit....

"take up your cross and deny yourself daily

have we gone too blind to ever see how far we have wandered, how overfed we are. how apathetic we are. how gluttonous we are. how addicted we are. that we are spiritual spoiled chubby babies. that blaming pastor wont help?????????

make 2009 your year to stopconsuming. stopconsuming.org

i vote mommy for leader

Dec 24, 2008
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Sometimes I need to just stop and check my lists and figure out where I am at in my corner of life. We are all big on systemized checks and balances. My Mac computer, my phone, my landrover, my smoke detectors...they tell me when something is off. My body is the same; if i feel pain emotional or physical it has nerves and actions that tell me what i may not otherwise know. So long as we know what our target range is we can keep it all running smooth.

I dont think that our leadership cycle is running smooth in america and more specifically in my corner of america: christian church operation. It seems to me if that we expect leaders to be a little too much like a mommy-a dysfunctional mommy. Do we know what leader means? - we should, we claim to. What is our target-have we checked? I am thinking that we are way overdue for a system check and now we are in an emergency situation.

This is one of many system red lights: simple ad's commonly written like this: " Wanted- a responsible person who can take care of herself, respectful and positive" or how about: "Please dispose of waste" and "Please clean up after yourself"> with rewards for those adults that can work in this manner. Wanted also are adults who are self feeding and self motivated, willing to take responsibility. I thought that these traits separated the adult from the child?

When did we have to start stating the obvious, when did it not become obvious ? And why are we not flipped out by this all? Arent these behaviors assumed? Where does it go from here?

The other large red light is in the voice of the led:"do more for me" alongside his ability to grow into leadership. Ironically there also seems to be a hugh number of voices trying to lead but unable to get the space. Have current leaders moved to control modem? I have heard it said by current leaders that there is a leadership crisis in the country. I think that leaders themselves play a part as they get caught in what has become a cycle of dysfunction in leadership.

Here is what I call the 'mommy for leader' cycle:

1. A visionary leader has a plan or a cause in which he sets out to lead a team to accomplish together. all good.

2. the culture is materialistic and people are self centered and apathetic to the leaders challenge

3. the leaders bends his expectations a little to get followers attention so that his plan can come to be

4. he gives them "some small cookie" so that they will join

5. he gets half hearted cookie eaters to join

6. he motivates them thinking that they become whole hearted when they see the plan, maybe a few do.

7. the culture defines great as big in numbers and so the leader takes in all the cookie eaters who join

8. the leader moves with his people towards his goal and they make steps, less than planned due to weak team

9. the cookie eaters remain basically self centered and they leader must stop forward progress to motivate and feed cookies to them

10. the leader starts to get tired doing double duty. too busy to collaborate.

11. the people ask for different cookies and more motivation

12. the leader gives more cookies and further lowers progress expectation to keep hope for his plan. competitive heart can begin to form from this drive to survive

13. the people want more cookies to stay joined. they see other cookies elsewhere. they complain about the tired leader. but they do not carry his burden.in complaining they increase it greatly.

14 the leader carries more weight than made to bear. all leaders seem to carry this weight, some fall. they think this must be part of it all and carry on in anorexic state. in this confusion they feel as if maybe this is what Jesus means by losing your life.

15. the people grow weaker,and carry on in an overweight state having fed more than they worked and their addictive cries are heard by the leader's need to the sustain in the culture's standard

16. this becomes wrongly defined as "normal" in the apathetic materialistic culture where we want what gravitates closer to a "mommy" for leader, someone who tells us what to do and carries all the responsibilities for the children. I see it is a more dysfunctional mommy who bribes kids to be work and stop complaining with kids who tantrum when they dont get their comforts. In the end we have a mommy who does the work of the child and a spoiled child-each of them fooled; having lost their target.

17. What does the leader do to get off of this cookie treadmill?

18. what part does the consumer mindset play?

19. what part do atmospheres of competition and idolatry of safety have?

20. how far from Jesus teaching on leadership are we?

21.what can any follower do to be a cycle stopper?

22. what are the barriers that have hindered us so far?

where the last are becoming the first-the least the greatest

Dec 24, 2008
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This christmas season highlights this year 2008 as a pivotal year. i think.
Dramatic change in every system. If you don't see it, you feel it.
We will be blogging about our global cultural drama for years now.

My current thought is stuck in this concept i was first taught about as a young good catholic girl wearing tights and ponytails: there is a place or time or kingdom where "the least becomes the greatest, and the last the first".

I continue to follow the author of the words, the creator of the concept, the prophet who calls it, the leader who will make it happen, Jesus. As i paint in my mind a picture of Jesus- His birth and it's purpose against the current worldwide background; I cant help but to see spaces where this prophecy is coming true now. I do understand that it is a picture of afterlife days as well. Followers are called to live out by the truth that God's kingdom is here and now.

"The least" have strengths only incurred by their trials. They understand their need to survive as a unit. They grow inner strengths to overcome by mere human will. They are not enslaved to things or safety. They learn feel hurt and pain. They are know how to survive. As victims alive they can build unbeatable systems. Unbeatable to any other than their own grandchildren, that is. Ungratefulness is weakness.

The greatest become dependent upon certain props to survive. Most current greats are generations into their safe and encumbered lives. They often lack ability to face pain and hurt, so easy to buy joy. They become far too independent and when in need lack the needed community or knowhow to operate in one. They often react to loss with a scarcity mindset rather than an innovative surviver one. They fall victim to their own system and cannot get out for they empower leaders greatest leaders and make their problems leaders new agenda.

Check out this documentary as one of many of those where the least rose up to form a movement and overcome: favelarising.com

Since many of us reading this are in the greater category; Serve another. To you who have been given a lot, it is because you are required to help a lot.
Merry Christmas.

when WHY? and HOW? hold hands. the questions we ask.the way we live.

Sep 7, 2008
3 comments

true or false:

1. all questions are valid ( whether innocent or cutting and sarcastic)

2. there are sometimes "front questions" (or question pt 1 of 6)

3. which cover up "the real question"(often non intentionally)

4. they have a personal feeling behind them (true, think about it)

5. they provoke thought (some people dont like that)

6. they can be good answers. (i learned that from jesus)

7. they can highlight or mask (intentionally)

8. the feelings and reason= attitude behind the question, shapes the question

9. a question can reveal true feelings and reasons (question behind the question)

10. the question is therefore far more powerful than their innocent face

all true.

-----------------

a question is very powerful. it is a window into a brain. it is a hand that can move a thought.

a question is very important. especially when shaping a vision. a vision for a group and a movement of groups.

-----------------

have you ever thought."why doesnt he answer my question?"or: "we cant get him to answer a simple question."

maybe it's not a simple question? then again maybe it is. but maybe the answer isnt so simple?

what about : 'he answers my question with a question"

if all questions are valid...

doesnt one have an equal right to not answer one. are all answers valid?

------------------

at the shema movement, we are always casting vision. we have new ideas, i quess.

we dont always realize that they are new ideas at first. because its our idea that has been in our head. it can seem common. sometimes.

------------------

for example, our basic foundation is a set of values, not a structure. we are an always changing, moving, growing and shaped by those a part.

it is therefore, not easy to answer the most common first question in a vision conversation:

"HOW do you do that?"

same question is asked of our local community in arlington heights, what we call "the shema house"

"HOW do you do this?"

or in reference to my parenting:

"HOW do you do that?"

HERE is a moment, so small, so big

there is power unseen in this question

this is an honest innocent question. often shows a desire to be, grow, live..

but asked too quickly, it jumps over the answer:

WHY?

so, when i am asked :"HOW?"

i want to answer

WHY? or yea. and i often do.

(and it causes this weird place that i am working on improving. it's hard for me because the answer is often paradoxical, contingent and complex.)

because HOW is first based on WHY?.

and i dont want to lose the WHY?.

for when you lose the why, surely your dream will die.

so you must stand on your WHY.

WHY? is a value

and we make value based decisions,not so easily answered in HOW?

not limited to the economic and organizational forms.

it holds the dream in a dream

it is the faith in our faith

it is the power to overcome

it is thinking in kingodom ways instead of world ways

it unleashes creative potential

and i think that this is how we were made to think

and live and grow

and i very strongly believe that we should live more by the WHY.

than the HOW?

WHY is the driving passion

that gets us to the HOW's

it shapes the HOW's

and makes new HOW's

it innovates.

it may have more to do with being human than we realize

and for some reason although people tend to jump to HOW? living

i see that they are very drawn to WHY? living

HOW do i raise good kids?

from the value that i believe that they are given to me to shape into the individual they were created to be

my WHY's define my daily how's.

HOW's are good. but HOW's come second to WHY

HOW do we create community at the shema house?:

because we believe in including all individuals to contribute to the collective vision of living out the ways of Jesus.

HOW do we create a movement like the shema movement?

because we desire to share the ways of Jesus with as many as possible.

WHEN can i answer the HOW question?

after i first just sit in the strength of WHY?

sometimes, early HOW's? can be defeating:

an early HOW?

can choke a dream making thought

it CAN place the current economy

or the current structure

in the driver's seat.

it can place our limited thought in front of limitless faith

it can squish creativity and dreams of conquering

it can mush our brains into a box

and a personality into a prison

it pushes passion and drive to back

where they resurface in other ways....

but a well grounded HOW paves the way for the WHY's to overcome.

there is real power when HOW holds hands with WHY.

live WHY. do HOW.

consumerism breeds apathy

Sep 2, 2008
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i am a people watcher. not the outside, but the in

i "slice" for those of you familiar with the term

it means to glean little cues from behaviors in an instinctive way

i observed amongst a bunch of us who are growing, god following people

ways we are....from things we do and say.... that made me ponder.....why

low expectation of self

high expectation of others
low self esteem
high desire of control and position
burdened leaders
un-powered members
indifferent to the grossest of global need
desiring to be taught more than to learn
most people too busy to help
no one with expendable income
loving with an agenda
more critical than grateful
sense of entitlement
independent mindset greater than whole group mindset
need of external joy
boredom within excess
being hungry and obese
addicts who who have graduated from the best programs
lack of self discipline
giving sex then love rather that love then sex
apathetic "christians"

and i guess the list could go on, but it became so clear
how backwards it all is.
inside out in every aspect of life.

in the church and out of the church

the consumer church system feeds the very mindset that it is attempting to break
while we pray for revival and for our youth
we cycle with them in a consumer system in and outside of the church

consumerism is the antithesis of the community.........not merely a different way
the community life is the only way to break it..........not just an alternative to it
which is why community life is so hard to start from the consumer soil, and so few of us want to lead it.
and why i can feel like a failure at it.
and why jesus commands community, unity and serving

when i chose to be a consumer, i give my power away
i let someone else define me
and me, them
and we get stuck there
for we build lives upon the false definitions
and so even if we want out
we feel as if we will die just to try
and we may

most of us dont even know
that we are defined
by a commercial
yet we feel entitled
always
right?

and so we love small
and feed
the need we cant even longer define
we are self absorbed and not self aware
yet needing other to define us
and wanting intimacy but cant give it
and its so crazy

being a consumer is the opposite
of being a community member
they can in no way co-exist.

jesus said you cannot serve 2 gods
you cannot serve god and stuff or comfort
we should not have anything that takes our attention higher than He
you cannot be part of 2 kingdoms, this world and his
in the world .. not of the world

(sometimes i think we are of the world yet not in the world)
we need to seek only Him.....and our desires follow correctly.

hunger and thirst for God
now i start to see the severity of these commands.

and i see the love and protection from death

we who lead towards moving to greater community find it taking years just to move the power base
let alone all of the other character shapes weve taken on as a result of this consumer world.
and while it is no excuse for our collective apathy
it sure does help me to see
the stronghold of consumerism in our christianity

consumer christianity muscle memory patterns

Aug 25, 2008
1 comment

The Shema Movement of which i am co-founder has a campaign called:
The Campaign to End Consumer Christianity: www.stopconsuming.org, or the Stop Consumer Christianity facebook group for more info on this topic...lots more.

We formed the campaign 2 years ago as we moved from struggling to bring change inside the institutional church, to having our own new structure and service that we called "shema', to taking that sunday service into serving sunday, which led us to discover life in a smaller community, which led us to .........more later on that. much more.

This Cycle of Consumer Christianity is in a nutshell: the cycle by which we grow a church today ie: find the need of the consumer /attendee, meet the need, gain consumer attendees. Then try to tell them about Jesus and His ways, which are completely counter to the way we drew them in, thereby self -hindering at our actual mission of making strong disciples. Additionally side effects include a churches struggle to just keep doors open, attract young people, keep volunteers, move folks into authentic community, give more to the needy than their own building etc. etc.

We've learned some things through our change from this mindset that i wanted to share.

We have gone first through a process of breaking what we call "muscle memory" ie: ways that we just tend to think and act as partakers in various structures. We are a core group of jesus followers and some involved seekers, who changed our practices, attempting to be the church and focus on serving, have a sabbath and live in community as best we could from what we learned in the bible.

We have fought the following:
the hierarchy mindset:
the one where everyone expects the leaders to do everything, plan everything, tell them what to do. in response everyone else who volunteers even a little rates the leader on his sunday performance and skill sets, drains this leader by dumping needs, complaints and endless to do's all over him, expects more from the leader than the non, if displeased by his efforts leaves the leader for another, plus feels free to gossip using the leaders name and places the weight of the personal growth of an entire community on their leaders back. ( ok. so i am passionate about this one. i know toooooo many burnt leaders. i have a t-shirt that says"stop consuming your pastor. yes, i understand the god given responsibility for the leader and teacher, but i think its not quite right)

the service as a show mindset:
we turned sunday sabbath back into a place where after serving the lord hard all week, we got together in order to remember, pray, take communion, tithe and encourage our daily lives. we have a little story called the lawnmower and the lemondade to illustrate.

the spoon feed me jesus stories mindset:
we teach that you and only you are responsible for your relationship with jesus. we help equip you in that relationship, but you gotta....open your bible, listen to a podcast,open your brain and think hard, contribute to learning together in group setting, get up and serve, serve when you dont want to. discipline is not optional for the disciple. ps. it's minute by minute.

the serving is a cute hobby mindset:
we taught that you must serve (give out) more than you take in (this new knowledge) in order make change. the giving out of the taking in is where the transformation occurs. if you take in more that you give out, you get "fat". i have an agnostic friend who says christianity is the religion of the full belly and loose morals. i do not argue with her. this is what she's seen.

we fought the country club mindset:
now that we are a nice comfy circle of working believers, we need to always make room for others and the change it brings. non believer, non trained, non nice, kinda rude, cat loving, whatever is not comfy, people to do life with. we call this inclusion. we feel it must be radical. we find it hard, beautiful work. if we do not include, we quickly fuse into a little better than thou club.yuck.

we taught about giving:
when we give to what we merely consume it is not giving. giving to the needy is above that. less overhead and a strip down service also helps this redistribution of all we give.

we teach viral jesus:
evangelism is not about merely getting numbers of people into our building or to pray the salvation prayer in one week of camp. it is about us going out to others and making ourselves live carriers of the message. living jesus ways, focusing on love without agenda, person to person sharing, empathetic emptying of self and listening, genuine sacrifice, evidencing real life change, sharing jesus mostly without or with words. Going out more than bringing in being the goal.

to my surprise, our journey has been a challenging and wonderful collective transformation in which i have seen the joy of radical and lasting individual life change in myself and others. i highly recommend taking the leap.

p.s- it is a leap.

l

the freezing point of a leader

Aug 23, 2008
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my son is studying chemistry in college, he wrote me yesterday to tell me that he has 3 labs.
my son has always liked to discover stuff, take apart all of my electronics, freeze bugs in ice cube trays.
yes, the lab. hands on independent discovery. theory tested. reality defined. problems solved.
most of us like the lab part of class.
cool equipment. dangerous work, bun son burners, safety goggles, chemicals that explode and burn and do cool stuff.
important work
discovering life
and death
and how it all works in between

in my own lab of life i have noticed both in and out of the church world.
that leaders have a freezing point.
just like water, alcohol or oxygen
there are freezing points in our lives:
places
where one moment we were one way
and the next...
we are are very different
our old alive -moving- working as made to be-self
frozen.............

we swear we will never freeze

and then in frozen state
its too late
only the unfrozen
can rescue us

it looks like this in my living lab:

a passionate all about jesus person
they call themselves radical and freak and dont care
want to just follow jesus
they serve
and give
and ask nothing
they seek not power-money-security-fame
they take risks
they recover quickly
running forward , growing in faith

and they swear that they will never "sell out"
and never do the hope dashing things that they experienced from others in their path
the wall
the red tape
the lack of support
being misunderstood
or passed over
left to sleep in their car
to survive

we love the young passion and pure drive
its even the american way
someday, they say
i will help others make a way!

but then they get some area of leadership
a title or job
a position or place
something they can control
and hold onto
and put their name on

and along comes
the choice
a moment they hold
that could make them freeze

here comes a new young passionate jesus person
who wants to work -or help-or something
they dont know
they are just jesus crazy!
they are not yet "proven" or tested
or filled with years of seminary
the gifts are clear, but rough
?

the questions
in our leaders mind
swirl

how we chose
could make us freeze
from the passionate man we were
the one who would never sell out
never be a wall....
only a hand to help the younger

listening to our own thoughts can make us cold:
our boss
our reputation
our "flock"
our paycheck
our safety
our family

why do we see the young man now different already
like this?
one eye sees clear
the other, is cloudy and cold

is the young man a threat
a risk
or detriment
maybe
is there room for maybe?

who am i to say?

its getting hazy
i cant see
that he
is just like warmer me
passionately crazy
risky

that risk could hurt me
im getting colder

jesus
what would he say?
um. well
that was different....in the hot desert

i have a boss
a flock
a reputation

this is the freezing point.
of a leader

once left the risk to God
now a risk manager
with other risk managers to help

once totally trusted God for provision
now
helps god.... a little

once knew of nothing to fear
except being frozen
now fears

once knew that nothing can separate us from god
now
is just making sure

once took failing as normal course of living
now sees it
as death

and in doing so makes it death
for others

once though there was power to be free
from mindsets
addictions
thoughts
now waits
just to die
to be free

and tells the young passionate
that "technically" you can be free
but most likely
you wont be
not even with "accountability"

no more hope
makes leader
icy

once willing to love and
be hurt
just like jesus was
just like jesus said

well, jesus was jesus after all
lose your life?
um. just jesus making a point
i feel like ive lost enough for now, you know

now wounded
protective shields up
this loss of radical love

ironicly
freezes
the very thing
we freeze
trying to protect

faith now small
some god mixed with
some me
im a proven leader
that the way its shown to me

i will never cease doing good
but i may slow down this elevation
its too steep for me
i used to be young

and now frozen i cant
pass the baton
to this younger leader
next to me
i cant even really see him

the church has a leadership void.
thats the key
we should preach that
and set them free

into our cage
of frozen passions
and lots of wordy theology

so its a cold country now
filled with christianity
cold leaders
apathetic youth
broken families
the worlds wealth
hopeless addiction

should we set the frozen free

and how do I keep this freeze
from happening to me?

i will study the leaders who stay frozen free

how to evangelize

Aug 22, 2008
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dont begin by traveling to some far off place to convert unbelievers
and dont be dramatic by tackling some public enemy
go to the lost, the confused people right here in your midst to tell them the kingdom is here. now.
bring health to the sick
life to the dead
touch untouchables
kick out demons and addictions
you have been treated generously, live generously

dont think you have to put on a big fund raising campaign before you start
you dont need a lot of equipment
you are the equipment, all you need is 3 meals a day, travel light

where you are working, dont insist on staying at a luxury inn.
get a modest place with modest people, and be content there.
when you operate among people, be courteous in your language.
when you are welcomed to speak, be gentle in your conversation.
if you are not welcomed to talk, quietly withdraw.
do not make a scene. shrug your shoulders and be on your way.
come one day they will be sorry, that is not your concern.

stay alert, this is hazardous work assigned to you.
you are like sheep in a wolf pack,
so do not draw attention to yourself.
be as cunning as a snake and inoffensive as a dove

do not be naive. some others will impugn your motives
others will try to smear your reputation just because you believe in me, jesus
dont be upset when they haul you away, use it as a public platform
do not worry about what you will say , the Spirit will guide you

your own family may turn on you,
but never quit
never give in
think of the end
survive
be content to take ill treatment
and laborers work
dont be intimidated
dont be bullied into pure silence
fear god. do His work.

with love, Jesus. as recorded in matt 10 as Jesus sent out his 12.

i had this on my heart and was going to blog it, when i decided that at times there is much too much time spent redoing the work not given us ( as if Jesus needs us to re-write this)
and therefore not doing the focused, important, hazardous, life changing, sacrificial, tiring, patience provoking, passion stirring, misunderstood, disrespected , heavy lifting, joy providing responsibility that Jesus gave us.
gtg, lisa.

God has made me this way. by carlos salazar.

Aug 11, 2008
2 comments

carlos is a shema intern. does our video. he is 17. he is an integral part of the shema arlington heights network=

God has made me this way

That probably sounds very weird, stupid, and illogical to many people. Let me take a moment to explain it as best as I possibly can.

Okay- I have a relationship. With God. How is that possible? Well I grew up knowing little of God or what it really means to have a relationship with God, but I searched for Him and I found him. He was always there, but it was up to me to take his hand and slowly start to let Him take control.

The relationship looks like this a lot of the time:
Let's say that there is a piece of garbage on the ground and there are people around.

I see the garbage and think- i could look at it and leave it there, or i could go to pick it up and throw it out. So i am given this opportunity. Most people see it as an opportunity to do a good deed. I and people like me- my brothers and sisters, or children of God- see it as an opportunity to serve God.

Here is the dilemma:
If i leave it there I am the same as anyone else- i turned away my opportunity to reflect God and do what he wants me to do. But if i do pick the garbage up, that doesn't mean that I did the right thing. I could think that my whole life and then be stunned when i find out that my so called "good deeds" were actually acts of selfishness and pride.

The key to this issue is my heart. My motives. The why behind the things i do. This sometimes is much more important than what I actually do believe it or not.

So how do I go about solving this garbage thing? If i pick up the garbage just so people will see and so that they think good of me, i screwed up. I would have been better off just littering myself. What God tells us to do is to do these good deeds in secret- when no one is watching, because then it really counts. Then your heart is right and for God. So it is good to pick up the garbage when no one is watching, but that isn't the only option. Another thing to do- the harder one- is to pick it up when people are watching and to be conscious about the heart behind your action. To think, ok, i am not taking credit for what i do, and it is not for my pride to swell as these people watch.

However ridiculous and irrelevant this may seem, it is a crucial interaction between God and one's self. It is something that starts out small and then one begins to take ownership over it. It is like training.

No one really cares that much at all about this stupid piece of garbage on the ground- and neither does God. What He is concerned about is what we do and the heart behind our actions. This applies to everything in my life- and it is only one millionth of what I are called to do. It is exciting and life changing.

So- what does this have to do with God making me who I am.
I was not born the same person that I am today. That is a fact. There is a thing God gives us. We have been well aware of it since snakes talked. hahaha. It is called free will.

I have made many many decisions in my life- and with everyone of those decisions i made two. The first one was whether I wanted to listen to what God has to say about the real decision that i was making, Of course i was never really aware of that, but it is the truth. It's that free will thing. I usually would choose not to listen and do what i wanted- whatever pleased me. I was terrible at listening, at hearing(Shema means hear btw), what God has to say. But then i made a choice to try to get good at listening for the third option- which is what God offers.

Thats when this relationship began- I was not aware of it, in fact, i am finding this out as i am writing. So i would do what i pleased while i got better at listening. This voice became stronger and stronger but the only reason it did was because i allowed it. i began to agree with this voice. It got to the point where I started getting decent at hearing it. Then i began to act on it.

So God began to change me. This Voice began to convince me to do certain things that i usually would not want to do or even think about doing. It began to change my personality. It began to change my views. My eyes were opened.

I can see things that i didnt know existed. My life began to be filled. Everytime i act on God's will- that voice- i am filled and joyful and excited and happy.
No it was not easy at all, and it still isn't easy- i am still at the beginning of my Journey- but it is so right and gets easier with time and patience and hope and perseverance.

There is also an alternative. To keep the third eye blind and the ears deaf and the mind closed and the spirit weak and infantile and our lives a long winding road with dead end. Unpurposeful lives that keep us moving different directions as we travel from distraction to distraction. Its entertaining for a while, but you have to keep moving from distraction to distraction to remain entertained.

These distractions can be whatever you want them to be. Life can be all about having an awesome job, making a ton of money, having the coolest car, having a hot date, and looking happy. I see people like this. They look happy. But they know too well that they are empty, lonely, wanting to be loved, and needing purpose and direction in their seemingly wonderful yet miserable lives. I dont call them miserable, but they show that they are. They need something desperately but they cant find it amongst the endless distractions that this world has to offer.

There is something so beautiful out there that it can sometimes only be expressed through the actions of those who know it and see it and listen to it and feel it. It is SO real. Just not in three dimensions. Love is real. Purpose is real. Fullfillment is real. Wholeness is real. Joy is real- you just cant see these things with your eyes or hear them with your ears or touch them with your hands. That is why it is called faith. These things are real, but not limited by three dimensions so that they can just sit on your dresser at home for decoration- that is what makes these things so limitlessly and endlessly and wonderfully beautiful. People like me are real. We are His hands and feet. He is real. Beauty is Truth and Truth is Beauty. It is Beautiful.

God Bless.

we church folk need to watch our mouths a little

Aug 11, 2008
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there are numerous times where the bible tells of Jesus healing a person. saving them from daily lifelong all consuming suffering. and at the end He says: " tell no one"
makes me giggle.
i want to tell just cause i read the story, let alone lived it.
one of the accounts is a story of Jesus healing blind men, end of matt 9.
He heals them and says sternly 'see that no one knows about this"
....................................and they went out and spread the news about Him.
it makes me laugh. i seriously want to ask Jesus: is it okay that i laugh, kinda at You? i dont ever want to disobey your command or disrespect You- but you seriously didnt expect them to be silent, did you? 'tell no one'. yea. sure..............

that moment resonates with the deepest desire and passion of my life every day since i encountered Jesus.
i am motivated to do what i do by my deeper desire to "tell". and i am allowed to at this point. so its cool.i understand that Jesus had this order to His work.now He tells us to tell.

although i live to tell, i am not a big talker. or an extreme extrovert. dont love attention, at all. dont dream of speaking in front of millions. never dreamed of leading large groups. im not real bold or confrontational. although i will go through the processes in order to "tell". and i have made myself these things at times, lots of them. still im basically happy to serve almost alone with my own hands, no talking needed- in order to "tell". thats just how im wired. i am all for speakers and extroverts and big group leaders doing what they were wired to do.

i believe that by living out the value of INCLUSION, we speak without words. in striving to personally live out this value we create an atmosphere and a relationally safe place for all to be with in ear shot. to have a chance to see life change first hand. it is also true hospitality, which has not so much to do with clean sheets. hospitality is a giving effort to accommodate another in our space.

as i work at times in the "church world" i often wonder, with a heavy heart actually:
how welcome do those not privy to the insider language feel?
can they understand the words from our mouth or language we write with?
can they feel welcome or like they could possibly belong at all?
and how much should we bend?.....i mean, why cant we use the word missional as we speak to one another?
some insider words are fine, but how much is too much?
when my not Jesus following friend reads my facebook page, can they understand anything?
or does it look like a completely foreign world? much like the stock page reads to me.

when the church world confuses me, i go back to Jesus.
as i read His style i see that He is very intentional about speaking in words that are received.
this makes sense. you and i do that to. if a little kids asks a question, we explain it to him at his level, in his terms, defining as needed.
sometimes Jesus uses words that are kinda not understandable. at these times He explains them, and his reasons for speaking in more difficult to understand terms from time to time. it has nothing to do with laziness, showoff, insensitive or clique stuff.

He makes me laugh:
in john's account, after the Jesus talked with of the woman at the well, she leaves/runs to go "tell", and the disciples catch up to Him and are like- 'hey Jesus you should eat.
Jesus says : " I have food to eat that you know nothing about"
(thats awesome)
the disciples are like- what? did someone bring him food? does he carry around marys homemade trail mix in his oil cloth pouch?
" My food, Jesus says is to do the will of Him who sent me" ...............and goes on to explain "food" to the disciples.
food is reaped by "telling".
we are like these disciples all the same. we lose focus. we focus on food. instead of food.

i am not talking here of adding cool talk like "ballin" to your vocabulary if you are "mature, like me.
be yourself. listen. empathize. speak in the others terms. ask them if they understand.
language is a mere tool God made.

not watching our church mouths goes even deeper than communication.
it reveals a heart to those looking in.
it creates the big fat us and them wall.
i call it big and fat because it does exist to some extent. there is a line you must cross over.
but we take the line
pile all hinds of speed bumps, potholes, and obstacles and make the line a wall.
no longer can they even really see it.
without jumping

i say we watch our mouths.
and break down the walls that we have build between us.

if i speak in such a way that my neighbor cant understand
                                                      if with my words i live no action
                                                                            then my words become a barrier.
   from the one i want to touch.